As I travel frequently to Mexico, learning Spanish is exciting. But, it’s also been surprisingly
difficult. Not because of the language itself—but because of the language that came before.
I learned French in middle school. And not to any great degree – I might have made it to French
3! But somehow, decades later, it’s still lodged in the grooves of my brain. Every time I try to
think of the Spanish word for something, French pops in first. The accent. The structure. The
rhythm. It’s as if I’m trying to overlay one reality on top of another, but the old one keeps
bleeding through.
This has made something once again very clear to me: early programming is powerful. We tend
to think of our childhood lessons as long gone, something we’ve grown past. But the truth is,
they don’t just stay with us—they become us. The way we think, the way we organize
information, the way we move through the world—it’s all shaped by what came first.
And that makes change in adulthood hard. Not impossible. But hard. Because you’re not just
learning something new—you’re trying to rewire something foundational. Something that was
laid down before you had even realized you were learning.
This isn’t just about language. It’s about how we relate, how we love, how we cope, how we
believe. The challenge isn’t just to learn Spanish. It’s to learn how to be someone who can learn
Spanish, even with a head full of old French.
I am not writing to suggest that growth and change are impossible, in fact, quite the contrary.
Neuro- and personal- plasticity are active well into elder hood, and I’ve been fortunate to help
and witness many old dogs learn new tricks.
I write this simply to honor our pasts and the well-worn grooves that aren’t necessarily barriers
to change, but, rather, stewards of our hard-won foundations, best respected, understood, and
collaborated with when we’re really serious about change.